Chuck Norris Resume
10 Roundhouse Lane Hollywood, CA Norris@kya.com
Objective
To obtain a physical education position in an elementary school setting in which I can utilize my vast knowledge of fitness, physical activity, and kick ass.
Summary of Qualifications
- Inventor of the round house kick. In fact I have also invented a language and can communicate entirely in roundhouse kicks.
- Can pretend I am hitting most anyone faster than you can see it
- Demolished building with bare hands
- Knocked Humpty Dumpty off the wall
- Never met a man I didn’t round house kick. I was a legend before anyone knew me.
- Can take on as many as 62 first graders at one time
Experience
Office Skills
- Can make any office object into a deadly weapon without MacGyver.
- Exempt from accepting the terms and conditions of any software or website.
- Can enter every Microsoft Window without turning on a computer.
- Don’t have to point and click… just point.
- Computers reboot when I blink.
Charitable Acts:
• Donated my blood for the main ingredient in Viagra.
• Stopped making movies containing the word ‘force.”
Little Known Facts:
- I have never been to Texas. They moved the state onto my set to film my television series.
- God created the world in seven days… I could have done that in one, with a round house kick.
- Dragon Trainer: Taught dragons how to breath fire.
- Own the rights and receive royalties for the words: “Death Penalty”
Copyright 2010 Resume Dictionary
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